1. >I was only 9 years old
  2. >I loved Linux so much, I had all the kernel updates and GNU utilities
  3. >I pray to linux every night before suspending, thanking it for the freedom
  4. >"Linux is love" I say; "Linux is life"
  5. >My dad hears me and says it's GNUplusLinux
  6. >I called him a freetard
  7. >He slaps me and sends me to sleep
  8. >I'm crying now, and my face hurts
  9. >I lay in bed and it's really cold
  10. >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards ,e
  11. >It's Lennard Pottering
  12. >I am so pissed
  13. >He whispers into my ear "This is my systemD"
  14. >He grabs me with his weak faggot arms and puts me down onto my hands and knees
  15. >I'm not ready
  16. >I close my repositories from Lennart
  17. >he forcefully penetrates my system
  18. >It hurts so much and I try to move
  19. >I can feel my storage filling up with bloat
  20. >I push against his force
  21. >I want to go recompile
  22. >He roars in a girly squeal as he fills my butt with bloat
  23. >my dad walks in
  24. >Lennart looks him in the eyes and says "It's all working now"
  25. >Lennart leaves through my window
  26. >Lennart is an asshole